"Aaron, Dennis & Audrey__Aaron, born August 1989, Audrey, born January 1991, and Dennis, born August 1992, are Caucasian siblings who are to be placed together. Aaron is a 13 year old young boy who has been in the same foster home since the age of eight. Aaron is in the eighth grade and is doing well in school. He reports that he is really good at doing math and science. He also enjoys football and basketball, though he does not currently participate in sports as he has difficulty losing. He is extremely competitive, even with himself. His foster mother reports that he prefers to play on the computer and enjoys solitary activities. Aaron is an engaging boy who tends to interact appropriately with adults, but teases his siblings. He talks alot and speaks about topics that are truly out of his range of knowledge, in an attempt to appear smarter than the person with whom he is speaking. Aaron has only recently been freed for adoption and currently there are continued court ordered visits with their mother (as long as they are requested by the children) until an adoptive family is found. At this stage, Aaron is doing very well in his foster home placement and is not on any medication nor does he have any specific diagnosis that would warrant special services or counseling. Aaron is also in good health and has no special medical needs. Audrey is an 11 year old girl with brown hair and blue eyes. She has been in the same foster home with her brother Aaron since the age of six, when she came into foster care. Audrey is in the sixth grade and is in regular classes at school. She reports that she enjoys singing, dancing and writing. She talks very easily to adults and thrives under positive affirmation. Audrey has participated in chorus in the past and currently sings in the church choir. She also enjoys playing the clarinet in the school music program. She reports that she likes to write songs when she feels mad or sad. Audrey is a very social child and has many friends. She does not have any specific diagnosis nor does she need any medication at this time. Audrey is also in good health and has no special medical needs. Given the past early years she experienced, she is a very well adjusted young girl that would like to live in a permanent family. Audrey also has the right to continued visitation with her birth mother until an adoptive family is found. Dennis is a 10 year old boy who has been in foster care since the age of five. He had previously been in a foster home with an older sibling but was united with Aaron and Audrey a year ago. Dennis is a sensitive, bright young boy who is in the fifth grade and is taking regular classes in school. Dennis is very good at working on the computer and states that he would like to be a computer video game designer when he grows up. He also played the french horn until recently. He has many friends and is very social. Dennis does well when he has a consistent routine, although he tends to question basic routines and frequently needs to be reminded about what he needs to do. At times he is the target of teasing by his brother Aaron, and this makes him sad. Even so, he would very much like to be placed in an adoptive home with his brother. Dennis is in good physical health and has no special medical needs at this time. He also has continued visitation with his birth mother as long as he requests it until an adoptive family is found. Ideally, all three children should be placed together. Remarkably, they are not currently exhibiting any major behavioral problems and this is an ideal time for them to begin to get to know an appropriate adoptive family. They all need a loving caring family willing to provide them with consistency and permanency. These children are resilient and despite their early years prior to foster care, have developed into bright, kind, talented children. " Example of children for adoption on http://www.ocfs.state.ny.us/adopt/internet/InternetPhotoinq. asp This sibling group is at: |
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Options-Adoptions {We will we will rock you } |
"Once you have children, suicide is not an option."--Phoebe Cates in " Anniversary Party" |
I am trying to encourage my two offspring to move along, step into alife of less me ,,be prepared. Know I won't be there and plan accordingly. It's subconcious, probably, but the extremely introverted eldest can't even go in a supermarket and buy milk for her ill-feeling emphysemic -dad , he puts it,"because someone might look at her and see her." Meanwhile not to be left behind, the other is right now, 2 in the morning, curled up uncomfortably on the small 1970 couch feet-to-feet with her father, who has 3/4ths of the couch, because I'm on the computer and she's too scared to go to bed without me. I've tried taking her there since 11 p.m., but she won't stay. A bit ago she was sprawled on the mangy carpet between me and my computer when I returned from the bathroom, and in her brand new clothes her friend's mother just bought her yesterday, a top with fishnet sleeves and a dark bluejean skort; a bit later, she bitched that the mamasan chair she was trying to curl into was uncomfortable. "Come on Mama let's go to bed," she complains, refusing to go alone although I cozied it all up with a low lamp, cheery blankets and nicely made bed to invite her. This is a little much. She's 10 years old now, and always had to sleep with me.We've got 2 bedrooms. Mary's is the size of a semitruck's cab .After spending Friday,Saturday and most of Sunday away from me , she was now giving me several unexpected long hugs and staying on my lap playing with my hairtie and necklace like she was a baby. She can't go to bed without me , suddenly, and when she saw I was at an adoption website her first thought was that I was thinking of adopting another kid. She got unproportionately angry, saying I didn't want her, I was looking for another daughter, and she was mad at me. I explained that I was curious about things we sometimes talk about and all these "beautiful kids live in foster homes right now." "SO?" "SO mabe God has this happening because you're to make friends with some of these kids, brighten their lives and they brighten yours, foster kids get together at picnics and stuff...." "No ! NO! I don't want to be a foster kid!" Marina melted down ,winding up in my arms sobbing hard, me swaying, rocking as we stood there. it was true. Another woman, no matter how loving, wouldn't know to do the cues we gave each other beginning with our mother-baby dance , the things that to Marina would mean comfort, love, ---Mama; like how we hung now, me so taller, bent to her, gently dancing her, swaying like palms in the wind, bowing and springing back up again. People comfort different ways, little pats on the leg, blowing on and smelling on your head, pushing your hair behind your eyes, clasping your hands firmly------take you somewhere where you don't talk like an empty beach too loud with waves and gulls to talk and roam it with you without drawing words from you about your recent loss. They never say so but you feel they are silently providing life-affirming moments to you that something might open the door to a lifelong optimism, as they take you out on their boat or to the bookstore. or just give you a longer hug than the rest around you. Marina's my baby, and I never hired a babysitter once. She's always been with me. I want to explore American Indian history. If boys went off to hunt and eat and survive to prove their independancy, what of these girls with mama since there were bundled to them as papooses? When they married did they leave the tribe if they married out of it? Was it expected or thought about how they would suffer leaving their mothers for the first time? What were the sizes of Indian communities? Etc. We think now the Jesus -age Jews lived with 4 families around a common hearth and garden with just tiny tiny rooms for the family to go off and be distinct families in, like when the campfire died. I wonder about Muslim cultures, Iraq, Iran, do they stay with Mama all their lives? Leave her suddenly? I have this voracious appetite to know things. I love the Sundance Channel and indie one on cable TV becaue you can see into the other cultures, different perspectives on things.I love the movies made in Iran. There's so many from other countries I am missing--I've had cable tv two months in the last four years. It helps me be rational in my thinking. Meanwhile, Miss Marina will not even go to bed without me, let alone graduate to having a bed I won't appear in at some point while she sleeps. Her main manuever is so tricky I am sure it is entirely subconcious--she sleepwalks. Very fast. Out the first door. Out of my office like a bullet once, in Land O Lakes, and at the double front doors whimpering because she couldn't get the doors to open by turning the handle, fouled because in her dream it wasn't locked--she'd just come in it.. Saying "I AM TOO!" grouchily to someone. If the door had been locked in her dream , the person advising her to unlock it, she would have been running across the night out there where there's deer, coons, crocodiles and everything before I could get pants on.(Asterick. I have CHF so my abdomen is swollen so no pants fit and there's been no money for clothes since 2000 so I basically wear just shirts and underwear. No choice. And why surprise visits are not welcome here.By the way Mary points out we have the odddest life around here. We have to punch "bake" and "on" every 12 hours on our oven to get the timer to stop beeping loudly and frantically since we were hit by lightning..and we have to watch all new DVDs in Mary's room first or they won't play in the living room---just Mary's. Honest! it's not just her "rule" and she's no good at tinkering --her science fair project last time was which do cats prefer, canned cat food at room temp, microwaved or refrigerated? Anyway back to sleepwalking Marina) --Whining because she couldn't get up on the windowsill of Dan's 13th -floor apartment--there was a screen in her way. Always mad as hell when you try to wake her, extract info --"where were you going to go when you got out the window?" When it began when she was 2 or jusr 3, I sensed that she felt unbalanced, living two lives so close like that, parellel worlds, the dream and this world .and didn't want to admit to such a fearful defect, even to herself, so screamed in anguished anger at being "brought to" and held accountable. I told everyone right then to stop trying to snap her out of it and just walk her to bed and lay her down :''It works," I assured them.Because she reacted so strongly adversely to being wakened," don't, and spare a lot of trouble". In Land O Lakes, our bedroom was up a double flight of fancy, rounding stairs. My computer was down, our bed up, and every night she stayed on a little futon just her size Bob put in the office. Bob was so accomodating --one of a kind. I couldn't risk her falling down the stairs and she refused to go up there alone anyway, although Bob was up there asleep in his own room. My sister said that's it, that's why , see, Dede--but nonsense. Marina had seen a movie --The Seventh Sense, that Bob had rented for his pre-teen. She began trembling at thought of having to go up alone the very next day,. Back then she was still readily obedient to the rational requests of adults , and politely asked permission to avoid going upstairs and framed it , quaking,"Can I please, please, not go up until you go up? Please?" "Mama," in a conversation she just skipped out where Mama was having coffee and reading the newspaper and began right in on, earnestly. "Ever since I saw that movie last weekend I can't go upstairs. I try to but as soon as I start I think there's a man up there." "There is,"I said amiably."Bob," I added , grinning at her startled face. We've been in the Tampa slums for 3 years now--July, 2001---and she saw some spook movie part 3 or something at her friend's last night --no, today!--and then they send her home for me to deal with the fallout. As far as real parents go too--Dan now has both his knees up, legs leaned against the couch back, head face-up and Mina has her head face -up in her corner and her legs bent toward the room on the other side of Dan's legs. Still, for all this, their only contact points are , one of his feet somewhat touches her (denim-clad) right buttock while a side of the other foot touches the small of her back. Her blood father can do this but I mean not an adoptive or foster one! Marina cried at thought of a foster family and wouldn't go to bed without her mother, who she would then reach for the hand of as the room went dark and clasp it, sweetly, tight enough to last all night. Now she was sleeping soundly in the bosom of her father, so to speak,and like a thousand times before I wished I had a camera with film in it, then wiped the thought off my mind before it hit me emotionally.Dan had her pillow, of course, and a c ouch cushion bent behind that--baby had her head flat on the couch,wedged right in the back right corner there, with her creamy tan arms folded til her hands nearly met poised with fingers all bent in a row delicately off her shirt, her face and Dan's the same face. The same chin, the same elan. She looked just like the boyhood photos of him at her age, and younger, when he had curly blonde hair (her's too now straight but damp with sweat it looks professionally waved.)She's got his brow. More distant eyes but in the same shape as his, I don't know how, and the cheeks in the same place as his, and the ears the same,although the face itself is smaller, wider, not long like his , which was replaced with his daughter's. Who took on some of the appearances of his wife and about this I always marvel as I get to live on and on in life--when a couple has two children, one has the dad's face and the mom's features, and the other has the mom's face and the dad's features. Wouldn't abortion then interfere with Divine Order in a way that made itself clear ? Ahem, my daughter would juvenilely but quite happily ,and I like her happy ,write. |
.Abortion is not the solution for a number of reasons and mostly the kids are already here when the catastropic illness hits the uninsured family living modestly paycheck to paycheck. Then Mom has to get a divorce if dad qualifies for SSD because otherwise she is not head of her household and can't get Medicaid for either herself or her kids. So she divorces daddy, he moves out but not on emotionally, Mom finds out that she gets only $560 a month to live on on SSI (the only way she can get Medicaid, which is the only health insurer that will give her a heart transplant , and transplant centers don't take church donations--they need to be able to get and implant a second heart right away of the first one fails: INSURANCE) At first Mom is ecstatic she won the Social Security Disability status and award ( as re posts at the Social Security moderated group at Yahoo, all subject lines being :Yay! Johnny got approved!" and "After 224 dats ,finally won approval!" and "Approved: now what?" Yeah, now what. You got that right. $560 a month does not raise meet all the needs of an adult and 2 children. Even 2 parakeets I think.. After 3 years making just the utility bills, no spending money, no food money,no laundry money,no repair money, no clothes money, no gas money to go to a park or beach, you just want to get it over with, let your kids have life. You didn't know in time to abort them (thank God, they say to each other, looking at each other wide-eyed, going off into the kitchen to give each other five)but another alternative presented back in early pregnancy was still open--adoption. |
And so I go from daydreams as a teen of hosting a foreign-exchange student as a parent to daydreams in my 20's of sponsoring half the kids I saw on "save these innocent little guys across the world in the dust " shows as soon as I got rich writing my book---to visiting websites that picture adoptable children by state, to see what they do --will my kids look like cattle? And who else is up for adoption, in the foster family situation, and why. And this is today, June 7, 2004 and so you know we are broke,w e get paid the 3rd and are broke the 6th every month, both my ex and I , utility bills --my electric, $366 a month, water sewer and trash, like all Tampa residents pay,, $75 a month, gas, $30-60 a month, phone $60-80 a month, I'm broke. Where's the food? We can't get food stamps because one qualifies by a no-exceptions complicated formula incorprating giving one xx points off for certain expenses, like exemptions: They add your income and subtract your rent or mortgage, electric bill, gas, and city util bill (water), your medical expenses you can proove you paid and your transportation costs , but I don't have a car and it doesn't count what I put into Dan's,like gas to get me and the kids to doctors, because there are free buses for that (sorry, i can't ride along with the kid free, even the 8 year old); and then they ask ,"Do you have cable tv?" And you go "No! Of course not ! I wouldn't ask you to pay my food so I can watch cable tv!" "You can," they say. " They allow it for some reason." But they won't count my $366 electric bill. "The highest a e-lectric bill can be is $138," they say informatively. "Well mine's higher," you say,"sorry," and hand it to him. "Oh i know it is ," he dismisses it,"but we have a cap we can go to . No matter how high they say they e-lectric bill is, the highest bock we can checks off is $136 dollar.That mean we don't give anybody credit off for a higher bill, unnerstand?" And a female at Family Services said "I have a choice feed my kids or cool my house so I have to keep my electric bill down or suffer the consequences. So I agree you should be able to keep yours down too. $138, that's high. You should never have one that high. Mine are in the $70 range." A lady at Salavation Army said she and most charites here cut the electric credit off at $138 so i wan't going to qualify for a lot. if my electric really was $138 a month I'd have $222 more a month to feed us with, do laundry, be human! Have soap and toilet paper! But, I can't get it. So-- |
These are Florida girls up for adoption and living in foster families right now today |
Is America moral? |
Children International says for $18 a month you can clothe, feed, and put in school one of these lovely children.I can't vouch for them but I know the kids need us. These are kids needing help June 2004. The website is http:// www.children.org |
The charity admits that many of the kids have many siblings and that without also sponsoring them, it doesn't go far. I am really curious how they do it. I have $13 a week to feed and clothe and buy school things for each of my kids and we're like dead people. I feel strongly for these ones here, and sorry that there are so many hungry and needy in my own country that need help and wondering why we don't blame these families for their poverty but blame ours for theirs? Is it because we think everyone can dip into that American pie and therefore those who can't are defective in character and values and readiness to accept responsibility for themselves (maturity)? |
Are you interested in my conclusions? 1. No body is going to sponser my kids at $18 a month and it wouldn't help but one ay if they did. 2. The New York adoptable children wesite is far more thorough and compassionate about the foster kids as the Florida DCF one. While Florida describes every kid in about four choices of paragraphs ("is a lovely child in need of a structured environment", "smiles despite the severe abuse and neglect in her background" "Hasn't had many reasons to smile her first 14 years ..."; New York state goes into the child's likes and wants and needs in depth. "She can picture herself in a two-parent family living in the city, with or without children" "would most prefer to live on a farm, exhibiting her love of animals" "Is proud to proove her independance by hanging out with her friends without adult supervision"....I say wow to that one, since my mother put me in the Children's Village just because I too believed I should be forming peer relationships by 17. I never dreamed it was a positive quality, wanting to be with friends. I'd been raised and then incarcerated to make me believe it was a moral defect---anyway, I would prefer the state of New York handle the adoptions of my children compared to Florida. So now I'm thinking, I must get us out of here before I croak here. |
My daughters are beautiful girls. To describe them like these state adoption web sites do , Mary is a sunny 16 year-old girl who tested forgifted but decided to drop out of the program in high school and takes AP and Honors classes instead. Mary tends to get A's on all her tests and school work and less than acceptable grades on homework which she is working on witth therapy. She attends a special, audition-only high school for the arts , majoring in Creative Writing. She enjoys soccer, swimming, drawing, Japanese anime and manga, and writing her own novels. She has one first and second place in county-wide student poetry contests in recent years. She is enjoying her fourth year learning the Spanish language and would like to learn Japanese too and major in creative writing with a Japanese language double major. Her big dream is to one day write or tranlate anime in Tokyo. Mary is always pleasant but has pain and anger deeply protectd inside herself and requires counseling for issues surrounding her mother's death and father's disability. Befoe she came into the foster care system, she and a younger sibling rarely had contact with anyone but relatives. The grandparents died shortly before the mother, and a close aunt went to prison on marijuana charges stemming from her medicinal use of it for aa chronic fatal disease. Mary likes to be alone for extended periods with her computer to write her fiction and review others. She is a positive person who lets a lot roll off her shoulders wisely. She should not be left with her younger sister for extended periods as she has been known to physically abuse her. Marina, 10, was recently tested for giftedness and was found to be so . Starting next year she will be in a gifted child curriculum at her school, where she gets As and Bs and demonstraates leadership ability, winning second place in a speech contest before the whole school and being on the safety patrol and in the prestigious Math Academy. Next year she wants to try out for drama, baseball, and soccer. She wants to be an actress or marine biologist. A very energetic and enthusiastic child, Marina has anger-mamagement issues and is in counseling for oppisitional defiant disorder. This inability to treat adults with respect is limited to her main caretaker and the teachers are all amazed to hear about it for she is so obedient and wiling to please them. The problem stems from a very close relationship with her late mother, who home-schooled her the first 3 years of school and slept with her , sharing a bedroom, until she passed away of heart failure. Both sisters are healthy physically and mentally and have no other emotional ssues and are above-grade level in all subjects. They refuse to be parted and want to rescue a cat from a family friend and all their home videos and photographs, for they were a close family that took exciting vaations around the nation together. If you have room in your heart and home for two very special sisters, their pet and their movies, contact the NY adoption exchange--- |
It's still like giving away a pet---- but what are my choices???? |
Aaron, Dennis, and Audrey. |
Ashley and Crystal, 9 and 8. Notice how they say they were neglected and abused but nothing else about it. This could simply mean their water was cut off for one week and they had no food in the fridge the exact minute the state investigated their house regarding that. The state makes no attempts to explain what would constitute the level of abuse the girls were decreed at. I hope no one lets foster kids go online, man--I'd hate for them to see this stuff about themselves---or worse, ther immature schoolmates to see it---if a 10-year-old wets the bed nightly, this web site says so ! |
Somebodies in New York really earn their income in going to the trouble they do to try to get these kids wonderful homes. You don't see Florida's website daring to say "She likes to picture herself being raised on a farm" . Alas, they may say too much here--they want every kid who has lost it's family to be in counseling all the time. While they --and I --think this is important, seeing that every kid up for adoption is in pyschiatric counseling may send more than 5,000 Americans to China to adopt this year. |
This little cutie would like to be adopted by a loving family. Come on, sweetie, smile. Come on. We're trying to get you adopted, honey! Aw, for---. |
Marina poses with the winning photography and poem her sister entered in the University of South Florida's Artwrites contest for high schools in 5 counties. Mary placed 13th.They only selected the top 20. Many many students entered.Mary co-authored the poem with Halley Reed. |
Marina, Brittany and Sammi at their school's sleepover at the Florida Aquarium. |
Marina, left, and Mary, right, don't want to come into your home oh no no no --they want to live with their mummy and daddy! But to get a heart transplant mama had to qualify for Medicad which she had to divorce to do and now she must live off SSI which only pays some of their utility bills and none of their food or necessities. She has to give the kids up , and Dad is in a disabled faciliy--- |
Besides Luv and Pooh, we also lost Oddball when they cut off our electric 2 months. He had a funny dot on his head that looked like a third eye. |
Born January 1991, Audrey is a Caucasian 13 year old girl with brown hair and blue eyes. She has been in the same foster home with her brother Aaron since the age of six, when she came into foster care. Audrey is in the sixth grade and is in regular classes at school. She reports that she enjoys singing, dancing and writing. She talks very easily to adults and thrives under positive affirmation. Audrey has participated in chorus in the past and currently sings in the church choir. She also enjoys playing the clarinet in the school music program. She reports that she likes to write songs when she feels mad or sad. Audrey is a very social child and has many friends. She does not have any specific diagnosis nor does she need any medication at this time. Audrey is also in good health and has no special medical needs. Given the past early years she experienced, she is a very well adjusted young girl that would like to live in a permanent family. Audrey also has the right to continued visitation with her birth mother until an adoptive family is found. A loving and caring family is needed for Audrey and her brothers Aaron and Dennis. |
